This is one of those posts where I’ve felt like I’ve written it 1000 times – in my head, little notes on the corners of paper, and on my computer – but then deleted, edited, changed, and wondered if I ever would actually hit publish. But I’m done tinkering.
Last month I was diagnosed with PCOS – Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.
It didn’t exactly come as a shock but having the official diagnoses was still an emotional roller coaster. A few months ago I basically knew nothing about PCOS – and now after endless hours researching I’m less in the dark – though I know I have much more to learn. For those of you who do not know, PCOS is a hormonal imbalance disorder that can cause insulin resistance, type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, heart disease, ovarian cysts, and infertility – among other less threatening side effects.
And while that whole list is overwhelming, it’s the infertility part that felt unbearable. If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile you know that I want to start a family more than anything. Being diagnosed with PCOS doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t be able to have a baby, but it does mean it’s going to be much harder if I am at all able. Harder to not only get pregnant, but keep a pregnancy.
After my diagnosis I debated back and forth about telling anyone – maybe if I didn’t talk about it I could pretend it wasn’t true. Putting it on the blog was the farthest from my mind at that point. But once I did start to open up about it a bit I realized the main reason I didn’t want to talk about it is because I felt like I wasn’t supposed to. Yes, I have parts of my life I hold close and don’t share, but this didn’t seem like it should be one of them.
Infertility is such a taboo topic, but it affects 1 in 8 couples. And while infertility is a taboo topic, apparently family planning is not. It hasn’t stopped countless people asking me: “Well when are you having a baby?” “Why haven’t you had kids yet?” “What are you two waiting for? Aren’t you even trying?”. If those questions are still being asked then I shouldn’t feel like I need to hide this – especially when it is clearly going to be a big part of my life moving forward.
I still plan on having my general life advice, snark, and random posts – but I also plan on adding in posts about my journey with PCOS. I can’t say for sure how often I will update, but for now I plan on coming back and posting about my initial diagnosis and what our first steps are moving forward.
If you have PCOS, words of advice, or have any questions I would love to hear from you! And if you have friends or family also going through a similar journey, please pass my story along so our journeys can be shared.
Update: My latest updates about PCOS can be viewed HERE.
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